The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

THE GOOD:  Commodities - We picked up commodities today.  Commodities are additional government surplus foods.  Most anyone with middle-to-poverty income levels qualify.  Each person in the household with a legal ID gets a box of food.  We qualify for four boxes.  You are permitted to pick boxes at a drive-thru every other month.  Each month has different food.  This month’s boxes had lots a cans of apple sauce, some diced tomatoes, several bags of macaroni noodles, one bag of split peas and two pint cartons of pre-made mushroom soup.  WIC – We also qualified for WIC due to the baby’s asthma and undiagnosed seizures.  That’s several gallons of milk, one loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, two boxes of cereal, some fruit, peanut butter, and juice.  That helps a lot for the baby.  County Health Card – My husband and I both qualified for a County Health Card – which is both good in some ways (prescriptions) and bad in others (horrible health care and long, long waits in over crowded rooms).  Plus, I was told by my doctor that the County Hospital does not have to give me the rest of the chemo treatments unless the cancer is actively spreading.  Doctor’s Report – My cancer is currently in remission.  This means it is not actively spreading.  This means if I can get the last three months of chemo that the doctor recommended, then I could possibly stay in remission for six months to a year, with a great deal of luck, maybe a bit longer.  He explained carefully that this does not by any means say that I am cured or will be cured.  That is not going to happen.  My cancer stage has no cure, only remission and further treatments.  But my chances for lasting a little longer than the original diagnosis are better.  I have better than a 50% chance of making it a year.  I have about a 35% chance of lasting 1-2 years, about of 17% chance of lasting 2-3 years, and a 5% chance of lasting 5 years.  The doctor said he does not know anyone with as big a tumor as mine that lived past 5 years, in fact 3 years was rare.  Also, getting to the 5 year mark means I would have to also submit to the surgery, but in my case there is a very high chance of perforation and infection if I get the surgery, and only a small chance that I would survive long after the surgery, due to the fact they would have to remove my entire esophagus.  So, if I can get the rest of the chemotherapy that is recommended, I have a good shot at 2-3 years at the outside.  With less than good health care, my time could be even shorter.  But I am so happy about this little remission reprieve that I just can’t let the other stuff bother me right now.  I want to dance.  I want to super-thank everyone who has been helping me through this, especially Donna fro Illinois who supplied us with diapers, Natalia from overseas, and Allie for the head scarf.  That wig has been awfully hot, but the scarf cools me.  Thanks to everyone, including my dear friend Elaine near Florida.

THE BAD:  Feeding Tube – I’ve been lucky so far.  I’ve been able to eat because they burned away some of the tumor.  Since the tumor shrank, I have not experienced the trouble swallowing food or drinking liquids.  But I have been warned that the tumor will grow back and when that happens they will not melt it away again.  I will need a feeding tube then.  I have a very strong pain threshold from years of neuropathy, which is a blessing and not at various times.  I think that strong pain threshold caused me to not notice the tumor soon enough which is bad, but it has also minimized my awareness of the pain.  Medical Bills – The medical bills are pouring in.  Thankfully, we were covered by the insurance through most of it, which only left us with a $2,000 deductible.  But $2,000 seems like a million dollars to us right now.  Other small bills are filtering in from various blood labs, consulting specialists, lab technicians, and radiologists.  They added up to a little over $1500.  I just add it to the list.  Of course, they are starting to call every day as well, because most of this went to collection a month ago.  Van – Our 2004 van is beginning to need some repairs.  It needs a diagnostic for the transmission ($113.00) plus possible transmission repairs (the warning light came on).  It also needs the power steering fluid and brake fluid changed (about $200).  I never knew fluid changes would cost so much and the transmission light worries me.  We are trying to save up for the diagnostic.  This is our only transportation.  When it rains it pours.

THE UGLY:  Haters – The internet has haters and naysayers galore.  One stupid ass keeps posting unkind and downright ugly comments to my blog (deleted by me right away, of course), all while addressing me by the wrong name.  Since he obviously reads the blog, it shows how stupid he is that he can’t figure out he has the wrong person, and how much of an ass he is because he does not know a thing about this type of cancer.  It seems he just wants to be an ass to someone, and thinks I’m that person he keeps addressing (wrongly).  If there are some good computer hackers out there who might want to help me, maybe you could send this hatemonger a virus for me.  He deserves a big pile of crap on his head, but I’d be content to just know who he is so I could report him to his server and get him blocked.

No Hope for Medical Care! Depressed to Suicidal Thoughts Again!

I’ve pretty much exhausted all avenues for medical assistance.  The Financial Advisor sends me to Clark County Social Services.  The Clark County Social Services sends me to Welfare.  Welfare tells me I am not eligible for Medicaid because I am not eligible for Social Security Income.  Welfare sends me back to Clark County Social Services.  After days and many hours of running back and forth, standing and sitting in line, while puking into an emesis bag – all I gained was $61 in food stamps.  If Clark County is able to approve me for a County Medical Card, which is a long shot, then I can obtain some cancer treatment at the local Kevorkian hospital - UMC.  This is where they make you wait in the waiting room for ten hours or more, and then evaluate you and let you wait more hours, and then slap you in a bed overnight, ignore all your button pushing for a nurse or treatment, and then kick you to the street after they have done nothing except let an on-call intern look you over and release you.  I know, because I’ve been there with my mother while she was dying.  UMC drugged her out of her head and then released her to the street, while I was at home gathering some overnight clothes for her.  After several trips to both UMC and Valley Hospital, it was not long until she died.  I guess that’s what I have to look forward to.  After being promised by Comprehensive Cancer Center that they would not refuse treatment even when I had no ability to pay, I am so depressed and sickened by all the lies.  I called today to tell them where I was at with all the applications for medical care payments, and they told me I would probably end up using UMC on the County Card.   I cried.  I don’t want to change doctors.  I don’t want to go to a hospital where I will receive only “palliative care.”  Palliative means they will give me minimal care to make me comfortable while I die.  That means they will drug me out of my head and send me back to the street.  I hate my life.  Cashing in is looking so good right now.  The counselor keeps asking me if I “have a plan.”  This means have I made a distinct plan for suicide.  Of course, I have.  I have terminal cancer.  I believe anyone with a terminal disease has a plan.  If our brain is not completely gone, of course we have a plan.  DUH!  You know what pushes you closer to suicide in a circumstance like mine?  It’s the damn doctors, financial advisors, and county aid offices that offer you a glimmer of hope then slap you in the face with “No, no, no.”  Why don’t they just say, “Here, let us torment until you die, or at the very least, let us push that gun a little closer for you.”  The Cancer Center was so nice while I was on insurance and they were milking my insurance company for all that money – but now, they don’t give a crap.  If I have no money, they are anxious to push me out the door and get rid of my burden on society.  Well, they didn’t need to push me.  I was more than willing to jump off that ledge when all else fails.  But they tormented me in order to milk the last of the insurance.  I hate them and I hate life!  What happened to being able to die with dignity?

Help Me Gain More Visibility?

If you can, please help me give my blog more visibility.  You can do this by clicking the BlogRollCenter Journal Box, and Blog Top List "Vote for Me" Box, and/or joining my Twitter link.  All three of these can be found on the right side column just below the grass line.  It would really be appreciated.  If you come across link exchanges or free link backs or free directories, please submit my link there, too, if you can.  The link is http://dying-wishes.blogspot.com/  Thanks.  Every little bit, every little action, helps me connect with more people who may be able to give me ideas or solutions I have not guessed yet.

Gas Rewards Card – Can you help?

Gas Rewards Card – Can you help?

I am still trying to survive.  I found a Kellogg’s Gas Reward Card offer online.  If I collect enough Kellogg UPCs from the cereals listed below, I can receive $10 gas cards.  It takes 10 UPCs per card and I can order up to five (5) cards total to my home address and another five (5) cards total to my Post Office Box.  I will need fifty (50) UPCs for five cards.  But I can send away for one with each 10 UPCs I receive.  This offer expires 1/07/2012.  Keep sending them in and my friends said I could use their addresses, too.  Then gas for appointments and job hunting won’t be a problem.  Please, if you have it in your heart, send me UPCs from the following cereals:

Kellogg’s All-Bran Original

Kellogg’s All-Bran Bran Buds cereal

Kellogg’s All-Bran Complete Wheat Flakes cereal

Kellogg’s Smart Start Strong Heart Antioxidant cereal

Kellogg’s Smart Start Strong Heart Toasted Oat cereal

Kellogg’s Corn Flakes cereal

Kellogg’s Corn Flakes Touch of Honey cereal

Kellogg’s Raisin Bran cereal

Kellogg’s Raisin Bran Crunch cereal

Kellogg’s Raisin Bran Extra cereal

Kellogg’s Crispix cereal

Kellogg’s Product 19 cereal

Kellogg’s Mueslix cereal

Kellogg’s Cracklin’ Oat Bran cereal

Kellogg’s Lowfat Granola with Raisins cereal

Kellogg’s Lowfat Granola Original cereal

Kellogg’s Fruit Harvest Strawberry/Blueberry cereal

Kellogg’s Rice Krispies cereal

Send the UPCs to Elaine Swe,

P.O. Box 363323, North Las Vegas, Nevada 89036

.

No Welfare, No Medical, No Help

Partially good news which actually led to bad news for me – my husband had his unemployment reinstated, based on that part-time job he had in January.  We will get $150 a week.  That almost covers the car payment, utilities and groceries.  We also qualified for a free cell phone for medical purposes. My husband can hand out flyers a couple times a week for the rest.  The bad part is, in Nevada, ANY income at all disqualifies me from health or medical support.  If I’m homeless, living on the street or in a shelter, then I can qualify.  Can you imagine being homeless in 110 degree heat with cancer?  Or sitting inside the cooling stations with cancer?  A cooling station is a library or community center where chairs and tables and free bottled water are available in an air conditioned room.  However, they are only available during the day time, and lying down or sleeping is not allowed.  You get to sit in a metal folding chair.  That’s just great for multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis and cancer.  You sit on a hard metal chair and hurt for hours.  Luckily, I have a roof over my head even if it does not include air conditioning.  I live in a mortgage clear home owned by my father.  All we have to pay is utilities, while he pays maintenance, taxes, and insurance.  Thankfully, his social security covers his basic expenses and he had Medicare for health.  But he also is 80-years old, had a quadruple bypass, has dementia which worsens daily, and has a bad mitral heart valve.   When dad passes, we lose the income that covers the other basics of the house and will probably lose the house.

After putting together mounds of paperwork, over and over again, and submitting them to the County, State, local welfare offices, and financial advisor - and sitting for hours on end in every local welfare office - I am denied repeatedly and then referred back once again to offices I've already visited.  It's like the great shell game.  There are three nuts being scrambled and one has a marble under it.  If I'm lucky enough to get the marble, I get the prize.  But instead Nut #3, the actual prize, keeps referring me back to Nut #1 and Nut #2, which hold nothing except things to make you go nuts.

It's not nice to tease someone.  I've taught all my children and grandbabies that.  Teasing is not nice!  But that's what these offices do to me.  They tease me by telling me there is help out there.  All I have to do is fill out several mountains of paperwork and then stand in line, and then sit for hours, and then complete an interview.  You don't get your answer right then.  That's just the fish hook they dangle in front of you while they tell you that you are probably eligible.  Once you've done all that, they will not tell you the results.  Instead they tell you your answer will come in the mail.  I got the answers!  Denied!  Denied!  Denied!  Doctors are as ignorant about this as everyone else.  When I told my doctor I was denied for everything except $61 in food stamps for the baby, he said, "I thought terminal cancer was a given.  You have cancer, then you get medical benefits."

Here's how the scam to keep you hopeful works:  The actual truth of the matter is, the first person they send you to is the Financial Officer.  When she finds out your greatest desire is to just check out (suicide) so you don't leave your family struggling to survive while you are draining their every resource - she tells you, "Don't you worry about it.  Even if you have no ability to pay at all, we will not deny you treatment.  Plus we will help you find the money you need to survive."  Well, that's partially true, but not the whole truth.  They prevent suicide by running you "literally" to death with the tease of welfare assistance.  If you go do everything they tell you while you are as sick as I am, and you keep going back over and over again, until they have exhausted you to complete bed rest - then they can just wait for you to die on your own, too weak to accomplish it through suicide, and then they cannot be blamed.  I'm on to their game now.  And yes, they will continue to treat you, but that comes with a price, too - a literal price.  They continue to add up all the money you owe, over $125,000 monthly for me with an outstanding bill of over $250,000, and tell you, your significant other can come in and sign a very reasonable payment plan of several hundred a month (for the rest of his life).  Well, of course this is reasonable *sarcasm intended* they explain: because they did provide treatment and because you are thankful for that and because you are a responsible person who wants to pay their bills, so you shouldn’t have a problem making a commitment to this bill that will last for so many years it’s hardly conceivable.  My husband can just pay it out of his meager unemployment and then go live on the street with the baby after I’m gone.  This is the crap that stresses me out the most and makes me suicidal.  If they had a brain cell in their head, they would know this.  Or maybe they do and just don’t care. After all, they are not people living off unemployment, too lazy to go get a job.  They have a job!  And if they have one, why don’t you?

One agency worker actually had the nerve to tell me that if I could wait in line for four hours for my initial interview, then I could constructively use that time to find a job.  DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?!  I stood and sat and moved through the line with my walker and puke bag.  I was so sick, and all these interview requirements and outings just made me sicker.  It took me two full months to complete all the paperwork and attend in-person interviews at these agencies because I was so sick.  It took me days on end to get all the paperwork together and get it copied, and I had to space out interviews because each one made me sicker and weaker.  My walker is the type with four wheels and seat in the middle.  I sit down between each time the line moves.  Movement makes me sicker, so I puke repeatedly into my medical puke bag – mostly dry heaves, thankfully.  I guess it’s a blessing that handicapped get a separate line.  But that line does not differentiate between handicaps, we are all equal.  And each personal interview can take up to half an hour or longer.  So, if there are six people ahead of you, that’s about a two hour wait.  There are usually 15 to 50 people in line.  I can get a better, closer to the front spot in line by showing up two hours early and standing in line outside the building waiting for it to open.  * just push the gun closer*

But you know what?  The agency worker is partially right.  Why waste my time and tiny bit of energies standing, sitting and puking in line for denials of help!  I can use that time to beg for crappy, pay by the day jobs, and then lose the jobs due to my health.  Or I can pass out flyers like my husband does, until I pass out?   Or I can stand on the street and beg for handouts until I pass out and the ambulance comes?  Hey, at least I make a few bucks for my family before I kill myself further, and then the charity hospital has to try to recoup my minimal health for a few more days or hasten my death so they don’t have to deal with me.  I call that a win-win situation!  You’ve heard of “suicide by cop?”  Well this is “suicide by hospital.”  I just let myself end up in the incompetent, no caring, charity hospitals that needs to get rid of the indigents who are costing them too much.

That’s what I am now – an indigent!  I can’t pay for health care.  They cannot turn me away when I need emergency care, but they don’t have to provide any real type of medical care, either.  They can just give me fluids and put me back on the street.  According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, “Poor patients have a greater number of negative outcomes than patients of higher socioeconomic status. Indigent patients have shorter hospital stays than patients with private insurance, and they are less likely to undergo high-cost procedures when hospitalized. ^​ Circumstances such as unemployment, homelessness, or lack of means to pay for basic needs may lead clinicians to form negative judgments about patients' social worth and may also reduce patients' chances of benefiting from certain kinds of treatment.”  (Full article http://jama.ama-assn.org/content/291/1/121.full)

This goes back to my doctors’ office.  Neither the doctors nor the nurses can understand my lack of ability to go to appointments several times a week, or even once a week.  They do not understand my inability to pay for the gas to get there (90 minutes round trip), or babysitters when my husband has a job interview that coincides with a treatment, or my husband using two days a week to drop off resumes which uses up our fuel for the week.  How can someone who makes $250,000 a year understand living on $150 a week or nothing at all?

What are we going to do?  I’m completely lost now!

Job Possibility? PLEASE PRAY!

PLEASE PRAY!  Please pray for my husband.  We received a call for a job interview.  Please pray, we need this to be a personal interview and not a group interview.  Nevada casinos and restaurants have a habit of doing group interviews now with 15-50 people sitting in one session being asked just a few questions by a couple of interviewers.  These first group interviews are usually followed by a second smaller group interviews of 2-4 people, with whichever person dazzling the interviewer the most, receiving a last interview with the kitchen or restauarant manager.  My husband has been disappointed four times with these group interviews, making it all the way to the second interviews only to be inched out by some young lady that looked more qualified for Hooters than a nice restaurant.  Nevada has a new policy at casinos of hiring only the young and beautiful women who look good in bikinis or young pretty men who are muscular for pool and night club parties, and good-tipping restaurants.  Please pray they hire my husband and offer full time and not part time.  I (we) desperately need the insurance coverage and part-time cannot receive it.  The interview is Tuesday at 2pm.  PLEASE PRAY.  We are so very desperate!

1930 Drought, Depression, Tobacco Road Returns – Thanks to Government Thieving

Did you see the World News this week?  It’s the most depressing yet.  What will become of my family when I am gone?  Am I leaving them to suffer one of the worst times in history?  See my personal update and comments at the end of this post.

Unemployment:  The Ford Company in Lewisville, Kentucky, announced it was reopening.  The good news: it has 1,800 jobs to offer.  The bad news: 17,000 people showed up hoping for a chance to support their families.  Whole families showed up hoping at least one of them might secure a job to help the rest.  So many people showed up that there was no way Ford could look over and read all those resumes and interview all those people.  So Ford is having a lottery to see who gets interviews.  How fucking sad is that?  And Kentucky’s unemployment rate is only a little more than 10%.   Here in Nevada it is over 14%.  In fact the news said you could add another 25% to that 14% (making it closer to 40%, almost half of the population in Nevada) to cover those who no longer receive unemployment because they have exhausted their draw, and those who took very low paying jobs, minimum wage and below, just to provide food and bare necessities for their families, and the homeless (which is a much greater number now).  How can someone with a job look down on us with those figures?  How can they say the jobs are out there, just stop being picky and take anything?  Believe me, we are taking anything.  My husband applies to every opening from janitor to handing out flyers to holding signs and spinning them on the highway for pizza places.  These jobs receive dozens upon dozens of applicants.

Drought:  Add to all this, the news talked about the huge drought across the United States and especially over most of Texas.  Last month it rained a flood, but that was only for a few days.  It did not help them recover from this year long drought.  The dryness from the drought contributed to the flooding when the water could not soak into the hard ground fast enough and them it became over saturated.  Now, the crops have all dried up.  Corn has dried and withered on the stocks, thousands of acres of it.  The drought has also killed the cotton crops, grain sorghum, rice and wheat … and cattle production.  The drought caused the acres of grass land used for cattle feed to burn.  The cattle are starving.  This means much higher food prices for the already starving unemployed.  Due to this drought across the lowed United States, Florida is losing $100 million sugar cane crop.  They also fear the drought will cause huge losses in Florida orange production.

Flooding:  In other states, like Louisiana, flooding has damaged crops beyond any repair, including corn, cotton, soybean, sugar cane, and hay for cattle.

What put us here?  Thieving and scamming by corporations, banks, mortgage companies, Wall Street, speculators, rich con men, and government agencies.  Now add drought to this.  All of which caused the loss of our homes and jobs, which led to Poverty thorugh Excessive Unemployment. These things go hand in hand when causing great economic upheaval.  The poor get poorer and poorer, many die and just fade away, and the rich go on like nothing has happened.  It’s called, “Screw the rules.  I have money!”  To them, it is thinning the herd of lowlifes that suck their tits dry.  And if anyone thinks these last statements are not true, just look up Bernie Madoff, Goldman Sacs, Warren Buffet, Henry “Hank” Paulson and read these links:  

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_the_financial_crisis_of_2007-2010

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subprime_mortgage_crisis

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dust_Bowl

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_largest_U.S._bank_failures

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Financial_crisis_of_2007%E2%80%932010

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008%E2%80%932011_bank_failures_in_the_United_States

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_entities_involved_in_2007%E2%80%932008_financial_crises

http://www.fireandreamitchell.com/chris-dodd-countrywide-scandal-mortgage-fraud-and-aig-bonus-scandal/

National mortgage fraud scandal spreads to the judiciary  : Posted on June 19, 2011 by Neil Garfield

http://www.thirdworldtraveler.com/Corporate_Welfare/TakeRichOffWelfare.html

http://www.angelfire.com/co/prophetjonas/richpoor.html

What the rich say about middle and lower class people!  The rich rape the middle and lower classes in an ongoing daily ritual.  They are tired of sharing their gourmet restaurants, nice cars, exclusive clubs and entertainment with us.  How dare we sit next them in a restaurant and pretend we deserve the same lovely service and good food they eat nightly, even though it was just once a year or a couple times a year for us?  How dare we drive a reliable vehicle like a Honda Accord or Odyssey Van when we should settle for the cheapest Kia?  How dare we attend Vegas shows and entertainment and save for that once-in-a-lifetime front row seats or a nice vacation?  They also say, “Cut off the unemployment and they will get off their lazy asses and go get a job.”  It doesn’t matter that there are no jobs to be had.  They also say, “If they are too cheap to pay for health insurance or medical treatments then they don’t deserve it.”  Just check out Obama’s Health Plan for the poor.  The poor will have to pay premiums in excess of $300 a month plus co-pays and deuctibles.  If the poor could afford it – they would already have it!  That amount is more than 25%-50% of a month’s income for many people.  But now that they’ve stolen our homes maybe we can afford it.  We get health insurance, but have to live on the streets.  Hell, the homeless get free health care – why should we pay for health insurance while homeless?

Which Class are we now?  Sadly, most of us do not even qualify for middle class.  My own income has dropped from lower middle class to poverty level.  What do the levels mean? Middle Class means we get by, live paycheck to paycheck, have a mortgage and maybe a little bit in a savings account for emergencies.  We might make $25,000 to $35,000 a year.  But we are on budgets, and have to save up for a vacation, new television, or new furniture.  These things are items we get maybe once every three to five years.  And maybe we also have cable.  We drive cars in the price range of $10,000 to $15,000.  If we were injured and missed a little work, it would be a struggle to get back to normal and catch up.  Upper Middle Class means you take vacations a lot more often, maybe several times a year.  You drive a $30,000 to $40,000 car.  You have a nice house with more than two bathrooms.  You probably earn around $90,000 to $250,000 a year.  You do not live paycheck to paycheck.  You could take a week or two off for vacation and not worry about the effect on your budgets.  Upper Class means you own a business or corporation and others work to support your lifestyle.  You do not work, but simply oversee operations from time to time.  Your income and business is probably managed by an accountant or firm.  Your children attend the most expensive private schools and college is a given not a luxury or expensive debt.  You make $500,000 to millions or more a year.  You do not have to save up or trade off necessities for luxuries. 

You see, the Middle Class or Lower Class, we might save up and eat in the same restaurant as an Upper Middle Class or Upper Class person, but we had to sacrifice something to do it.  It was more than likely a special once-a-year occasion just to have something extra nice for a change.  We had to make a choice between our average life sustenance and a vacation, or trade off that once-every-three-years vacation to do repairs on our car.    We usually have to sacrifice something to get a special day or treat while upper class people don't have to sacrifice anything to get the nice things they have.  But now, we have nothing left to sacrifice.  Food and housing are our luxuries and we are sacrificing everything to have them for our kids.  And soon – I see that getting even worse.  I see us living in a repeat of the 1930s Dust Bowl Depression.  And I wonder of we can make it through ten years of government ration stamps and watching our old people and children whither up and die.

(All figures from the Census Bureau, unless otherwise stated.)

The Rich:
– The richest 20 percent of Americans get 50.3 percent of the country's income.
– The portion of wealth for the rich has consistently gone up: In 1999, that figure was 49.4 percent. In 1989, it was 46.2 percent. In 1979, it was 44.2 percent.
– You are in the richest 20 percent, by the way, if those in your household make over $100,000.
– The number of millionaires in America went up 8 percent in 2010, according to the Spectrem Group, to approximately 8.4 million millionaires. That figure also jumped up 16 percent in 2009, following a drop in 2008.

The Poor:
– The poorest 20 percent of Americans get 3.4 percent of the country's income.
– The portion of wealth for the poor has consistently declined: In 1999, the number was 3.6 percent. In 1989, it was 3.8 percent. In 1979, it was 4.1 percent.
– You are in the poorest 20 percent if you make less than $20,453 in your household.
– Some 43.6 million Americans live in poverty. That is the record high for the 51 years the U.S. has recorded poverty data.
– The number of Americans in poverty jumped 9.5 percent in 2009 alone (the most recent year for which we have data).
– Overall, 14.3 percent of Americans live in poverty.
– You are in poverty, if you have a family of four and total income is under $22,314. For an individual, the poverty line is $11,136.

Disparity on the Rise
– By one key measure, income disparity in the U.S. has increased 40 percent in the past 30 years.
– Our measure: The Gini Index. A Gini Index of "0" means perfect equality in income. An index of "1" means total inequality, so one person has all the income.
– US now: 0.469. (2009 data, the most recent available)
– US in 1998: 0.393
– US in 1989: 0.362
– U.S. in 1979: 0.335

For the full article below from the Economic Collapse, go to:  http://theeconomiccollapseblog.com/archives/rich-vs-poor-14-funny-statistics-and-14-not-so-funny-statistics-about-this-economic-recovery

In any event, hopefully you will find the following statistics informative or at least entertaining.  The wealthy are most definitely enjoying an "economic recovery" while most of the rest of us are still really struggling....

Funny - Who said that the titans of Wall Street couldn't look hot?  According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, facelifts for men jumped 14 percent last year.

Not Funny - According to the U.S. Labor Department, unemployment actually increased in 351 of the 372 largest U.S. cities during the month of January.

Funny - The average bonus for a worker on Wall Street in 2010 was only $128,530.  It appears that more Wall Street bailouts may be needed.

Not Funny - During this most recent economic downturn, employee compensation in the United States has been the lowest that it has been relative to gross domestic product in over 50 years.

Funny - According to DataQuick Information Systems, the sale of million dollars homes rose an average of 18.6 percent in the top 20 major metro areas in the U.S. in 2010.  But is spending a million dollars on one house really worth it?  After all, over the past several years there have been times when you could buy a house in some bad areas of Detroit for just one dollar.

Not Funny - In 2010, for the first time ever more than a million U.S. families lost their homes to foreclosure, and that number is expected to go even higher in 2011.

Funny - According to Moody's Analytics, the wealthiest 5% of households in the United States now account for approximately 37% of all consumer spending.  Most of the rest of us don't have much discretionary income to spend these days, but at least we have Justin Bieber, American Idol and Dancing with the Stars to keep us entertained.

Not Funny - According to Gallup, the U.S. unemployment rate in mid-March was 10.2%, which was virtually unchanged from the 10.3% figure that it was sitting at exactly one year ago.

Funny - According to the Wall Street Journal, sales of private jumbo jets to the ultra-wealthy are absolutely soaring.... Sales of private jumbo jets are so strong that Airbus and Boeing now have special sales forces devoted to potentates and the hyper-rich.

Not Funny - There are now over 6.4 million Americans that have given up looking for work completely.  That number has increased by about 30 percent since the economic downturn began.

Funny - Porsche recently reported that sales increased by 29 percent during 2010.  Even Porsche jokes are coming back into style....

Question: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

Answer: She saw “911” on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Not Funny - Approximately half of all American workers make $25,000 a year or less.  (My own comment:  2011 Poverty Level guidelines are $22,350 for a family of four.  The National Debt is more $125,000 per person, which is five times the amount made yearly by 50% of the population.  The Nevada unemployment average earnings are $16,900 a year with many Nevadans unemployed going on two years or longer and completely exhausting their benefits, well below poverty level.)

Funny - Cadillac recently reported that sales increased by 36 percent during 2010.

Not Funny - According to the U.S. Energy Department, the average U.S. household will spend approximately $700 more on gasoline in 2011 than it did during 2010.

Funny - Rolls-Royce recently reported that sales increased by 171 percent during 2010.

Not Funny - According to a new study by America's Research Group, approximately 75 percent of all Americans are doing less shopping because of rising gasoline prices.

Funny - According to the New York Post, Barack Obama enjoyed a total of 10 separate vacations that stretched over a total of 90 vacation days during the years of 2009 and 2010.  Apparently Barack Obama was not talking about himself when he told the American people the following.... "If you’re a family trying to cut back, you might skip going out to dinner, or you might put off a vacation."  (My own comment:  If I could afford to go out to dinner or take a vacation maybe things would be okay, but those of us who were pushed into the poverty level by the thieving government cannot afford groceries or gas for job hunting let alone restaurants and vacations.  It just shows how out of touch rich people are!) 

Not Funny - When 2007 began, 26 million Americans were on food stamps.  Today, an all-time record 44 million Americans are on food stamps.

Funny - Ralph Lauren reported a 24 percent increase in revenue in the fourth quarter of 2010.  It is good to know that preppies are thriving in this economy.

Not Funny - The Ivex Packaging Paper plant in Joliet, Illinois is shutting down for good after 97 years in business.  79 good jobs will be lost.  Meanwhile, China has become the number one producer of paper products in the entire world.

Funny - Luxury jewelry retailer Tiffany & Co. recently announced that their profits increased by 29 percent in the 4th quarter of 2010.  All of the men that did not buy their women jewelry during the holidays are trying to keep this particular news item from getting passed around.

Not Funny - Average household debt in the United States has now reached a level of 136% of average household income.

Funny - In 2009, only 18,288 vehicles with a price tag of $100,000 or more were sold in the United States.  In 2010, 32,144 such vehicles were sold.  It appears that "showing off for chicks" is now very much back in style.

Not Funny - The U.S. economy now has 10 percent fewer "middle class jobs" than it did just ten years ago.

Funny - Porsche has announced that they will soon be taking orders for their first hybrid sports car, the 918 Spyder.  The price tag on one of these puppies will only be $845,000.

Not Funny - The average CEO now makes approximately 185 times more money than the average American worker.

Funny - Barack Obama recently played only his 61st round of golf since moving into the White House.  Many are now concerned that Obama is simply not getting enough free time.

Not Funny - According to one recent study, 21 percent of all children in the United States were living below the poverty line during 2010.

NOT FUNNY

I am living in poverty for the first time in my life.  I have esophageal cancer.  I’ve been given about six more months to live.  I am diabetic and no longer take my insulin, because I cannot afford it.  My blood sugar has been running 400-500.  I experienced the loss of my mother just last year.  I provide care for my 80-year-old father who has dementia.  My father’s doctor says he may have less than a year to live due to a faulty heart valve that is now causing him to swell.  Prior to the recession, my credit rating was over 800, in the excellent range.  Prior to the recession, I never missed a mortgage, car or credit payment in my life.  Now, my home of 15 years was foreclosed.  I cannot pay any bills, and I am considered a deadbeat with a credit rating of 450.  I have always had medical insurance, until last month.  Now at the most important point in my life, I have absolutely no insurance and no income, and had to stop medical treatment of my cancer due to this.  My husband is extremely depressed.  I do not want to leave him with a mountain of monthly medical bills after I die.  I do not want him forced to continue mourning for me month after month when these bills come in and bill collectors are calling to remind him that I died and he still has to pay for it.  In addition to this:  My first son feels like a failure because he cannot find a job and talks about suicide.  My daughter-in-law has attempted suicide twice due to their depressing living situation.  Their children live with me and another relative because they cannot afford to take care of them and are homeless at times.  My Marine son feels inadequate because he does not earn enough money yet to provide for my health even though he helps with utilities when he can.  I hate it that I have to choose between gas for job hunting, diapers for the baby, prescriptions or healthy foods.  I hate it that we have to pay for the thieving of government and rich corporations which looks like it was carefully planned and concealed until it was too late for us to stop.  They are the reason I no longer have income or health insurance.  They are the reason all this has happened.

REALLY NOT FUNNY!
People condemn me for feeling suicidal, and for thinking my death would be advantageous to my family.  What would you do in my place?  My being here is a burden financially that will soon send my family into poverty to the point of being homeless.  I can’t be part of that.  I have medical bills of over $200,000 for just two months of treatment.  I’m supposed to endure four more months.  My radiologist does not understand why I quit with only five treatments left and still had insurance.  He could not comprehend that I could no longer pay for gas for the hour-long round-trip drive to his office (sometimes 2-3 hours if I’m caught in rush hour because their radiation machine is broke down) or a babysitter while I am gone for three hours (sometimes 3-5 hours when the machine breaks down).  The nurse said, “Just have your husband watch the baby like you did before.”  She couldn’t comprehend it when I said, he needs the gas to job hunt and needs the car for interviews and to place resumes in-person.  That happens during specific hours only and we have to abide by them.  Plus I am too sick to ride in free transportation which doubles the time to and from, as well the babysitter charges, because they have to pick up several people at a time. 

BUT I AM STILL TRYING
Despite all that, I am still trying.  I applied for Medicaid for myself and the baby.  The baby has received his temporarily and I am still submitting paperwork for mine, but have been told I may not qualify.  Nevada is the hardest state to qualify in if you are an adult.  Now Medicaid has served me with papers to sue my son for child support, saying they can attach his unemployment for it, which I fear will push him and his wife to suicide.  My son only draws $150 a week, and they barely survive on that, living in foreclosed homes until they are evicted by the Sheriff.  Child Support Division would get $150 a month from them (or 25%), which goes directly to Welfare for the baby’s health card.  So, the benefits of that money are zero for me and terrible instability for them.  How can this be right?  I am going to reapply for WIC this week.  Again, Nevada is terrible when it comes to using WIC.  The baby was on it for three months over a year ago.  Every time I went to the store, I wanted to cry from frustration and embarrassment.  I would get a few WIC items and know I had the milk and fruit left.  But when I went top the store they would deny the card.  I would ask them to call the number, but they would say no and push you out of line, loudly and obnoxiously.  It happened every month.  One month the check out girl charged me for items they put back saying they were the wrong items, like the fruit and cheese.  They put the items back but charges me for them anyway, and said they could not reverse the charges once they went into the system.   Essentially they stole the money from the state.  I called the state and complained, but nothing was done.  I’m going to apply for WIC again.  I’m going to swallow my pride at the grocery store, and sit there in front of the cashier on my walker, puking into a bag, until they fix it or get it right.  I am just so tired lately, that I hate wasting time and energy on things like this.  I am also making the trip to the Commodities Food program once every other month for eight measly food items like instant milk and dry beans.  Every little bit helps.  We plan on visiting the food pantries and food kitchens as well.  I just cry and cry lately, I never thought I would be in this position.  I am also checking into Nevada Check Up for children.  Children under 18 can have health care for $25-$80 a yearly quarter with no co-pays or deductibles.  I wish I had known that before applying for Medicaid.  You cannot have it if you are eligible for or on Medicaid.  I am seriously considering lying and saying we have too much income just to get the Medicaid denied and get my baby on Nevada Check Up, so my son will not have his meager unemployment attached.  As for myself, I’ve been thinking free clinics, but I’m not sure if free clinics can treat cancer.  I’m pretty sure they cannot provide PET or MRI scans or EUS procedures, or the expensive chemo drugs.  If anyone who has cancer and is being treated through a free clinic - please let me know if they provide some of the more expensive drugs and tests?  For groceries, I spend wisely.  I use PayPal contributions to buy cases of macaroni and cheese, Ramon noodles, soup and soup mixes, and cereal (which can eaten dry or with milk).  I buy only really good sale items for which I already have a coupon.  We always buy according to things we know the baby will eat, and we just eat the same things.  Banquet spaghetti TV dinners for 88¢ are a staple for all of us and the baby’s favorite beside Mac and cheese.  My girlfriend, bless her heart, brought me a six-pack of diet-Pepsi yesterday.  I felt guilty and delighted all at the same time.  Pepsi is a guilty pleasure of mine.  I wanted to tell her that a better purchase would have been juice for the baby, but that would have been rude of me.  So, instead I told her I loved the Pepsi and would ration it to myself, but these days I digest apple juice better – hoping she would get the hint and maybe bring apple juice next time which I could give the baby.  She’s never liked children and has a hard time being around our hyper-active, seizure prone child, but she is a good person.

Many, Many Thanks and Gratitude

I’m beginning to believe in small miracles thanks to people like Cathia from overseas  and Donna from Illinois.

Today’s miracle:  Last night my husband answered an ad in the paper for people to hand out flyers door-to-door for $10 an hour.  I felt bad about having him answer the ad because it was over 100 degrees outside with very high humidity.  But we filled a couple bottles with ice water and put them in an old back pack, and I drove him to the location because we desperately needed the funds. 

The location was quite a ways across town and our gas tank was close to empty.  This complicates things, because I cannot be without transportation in case the baby has a seizure.  Plus we just did not have enough gas to make the trip back and forth between.  So, I found a nearby waterpark and the baby and I waited there until he was done.  I let the baby play in the water, and drenched myself a couple times to stay cool.  I’m not supposed to be in the heat or direct sun at all, due to my dehydrated condition and problems with the chemo in my body reacting to sunlight.  I made sure to stay a little wet, keep to the shade and drink lots of water while we waited.

Ninety minutes later, my husband was done and had $15 cash in hand, plus promises of one to three hours work a week.  We actually cheered because that is $10-$30 a week.  That’s gas money for job hunting.

On the way home, we were discussing the use of the money.  We desperately needed diapers and juice for the baby - and gas, but it was not enough to buy all of it.  We didn’t know when the guy would call my hubby again to pass out more flyers.  I knew we only had one daytime diaper left and two overnights.  Three diapers are not enough for even one day.  We decided to go home and search diaper bags and the toy box, everywhere, and see if we could find a couple more diapers which would leave the money for gas.

When we arrived home, we found our miracle.  Donna from Illinois had sent us a huge box of diapers, enough for a whole month, and there it was on the porch, at just the perfectly right day.  I cried.  My husband hugged me and said, “See someone cares.  We’ll make it okay.”  Thank you Donna - for caring.

We put $10 in the gas tank and we are going to buy $5 worth of bananas and fresh fruit for the baby with the rest.  Plus we have this other little miracle of a job for a little cash every week now that is at least enough money to job hunt and continue putting in applications for something full time or part time.

We also have had over $100 donated to our PayPal account.  I used it to order lots of macaroni and cheese, Raman noodles, and pasta noodles.  It will fill our cupboard with something we can all eat and that the baby really likes.

So, we are making it this month thanks to a few little miracles provided by the graciousness of my blog readers.  Thank you so very much.

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What the oncologists don’t tell you

Chemotherapy from the Patients Point of View

What the oncologists don’t tell you

Being told you have cancer is one of the biggest shocks you will experience.  Being told you are in stage 3 or stage 4 is more devastating.  The next shock is making a decision about radiation and chemotherapy to kill the cancer, which also kills parts of your body and mind.  Honesty from the oncologists and staff would help but it’s hard to find.

I let myself be talked into chemotherapy and radiation treatments.  For me, it seemed like the tiny sun in a dark dismal diagnosis.  I may have turned it down if the oncologist had been honest about the effects.

The first big lie is a video you have to watch prior to your first treatment.  The video is similar to pharmaceutical commercials.  It touts the drugs being used and tells you some people can work right through chemo.  It offers helpful suggestions for making the chemo treatment easier like walking and exercises for twenty minutes a day, eating several light meals instead of two heavy ones, stay hydrated by drinking lots of fluids, and pack a light bag with entertainment items in it for those long treatment sessions.  The video, like the pharmaceutical commercials, highlights all the great benefits and wonderful things you can do to lessen the effects of the chemotherapy, and just like the commercials they insert the warnings very subtly throughout.  The benefits seem so easy and delightful that you go into chemotherapy without a fear.  The subtlety of the warnings barely sinks in.  You later learn that non-stop puking and diarrhea prevent all those lovely suggestions from being utilized.

The second lie is a lie of omission.  They do not tell you that every cancer treatment varies significantly.  They don’t tell you the video may not apply to your type of chemo at all.  They don’t tell you that each chemo treatment can cause more and more side effects which worsen per treatment.

The third lie is also a lie of omission.  The chemo room is about 50 to 60 degrees.  It is practically icy.  The coolness is needed to prevent germs from growing due to cancer patient’s low immunity.  The cancer centers keep a small amount of blankets on hand, but when those run out you simply freeze to the point of painful shivering.  Always bring your own blanket or jacket for the chemo room.

The fourth is a lie of expectation.  The cancer center promises caring doctors and individual support.  Yet, I found myself making many of my own appointments for specialists and tests, while hovering over an emesis basin puking my heart out.  The staff had problems with follow up, and often dropped the ball on scheduling needed tests and procedures.  Patients are just too sick to handle these things, and yet are forced to at times.  Even the social worker who supposedly helps with finances and severe depression (usually caused by lack of finances and other worries) is fairly useless.  I was referred to the social worker when my insurance ran out, my income was severely reduced to unemployment, COBRA ran out, and I was depressed to the suicide.  The worker handed me a packet of welfare papers and told me to apply for Social Security Disability (SSD) and Supplemental Income (SSI).  Most of these applications required an in-person interview, especially the welfare papers, which required three or more hours waiting in line at the offices.  I completed them all, suffering in pain, while sitting on a walker and puking into an emesis bag.  Out of all the wasted time, three different days of line waiting totaling 11 hours, I received a mere $61 in food stamps.  Mostly the worker was concerned about the suicidal thoughts.  She would ask me if “I had a plan” for suicide, to which I would answer, “Doesn’t every cancer patient?”  What a stupid question to ask someone who is terminal!  The worker also promised to check on me regularly due to my sever depression.  I finally contacted her one time, and she never contacted me again.  The last thing a cancer patient needs is more disappointment.

I never received enough up front, honest information about the chemo treatments.  The truth about chemotherapy is each type of cancer and each stage of cancer varies your treatment.  The more severe the stage, the more severe the treatment. 

I am in stage 3, esophageal cancer.  Many cancer patients receive an hour or two of chemo drip once a month and that’s it.  Others only take chemo pills.  Not so for me.  I received a three hour chemo drip at the beginning of each month, followed by a constant slow drip of chemo from a bag I wore on my side for the next four days. 

During the first treatment I suffered no ill effects.  I thought this was going to be easy.  The day I had the chemo bag IV removed I started getting sick.  The nausea, diarrhea and vision problems lasted about ten days.  That didn’t seem too bad.  I had a little less than two weeks to recover and feel well until the next monthly treatment.  It was up and down during those two weeks, going from dehydration to hydrating IVs every few days.  I was extremely tired but surviving it.  After being so sick for ten days, these next few days felt wonderful even though I was still mildly sick.

During the second treatment, I again suffered no ill effects until after the slow bag was removed.  This time I was so sick I was bedridden for three weeks and then hospitalized for several days.  I lost another 26 pounds.  Nothing the oncologist attempted could stop the nausea and diarrhea.  My potassium dropped to a heart attack imminent level.  In the hospital, I received four IVs of potassium and four IVs of magnesium.  After two days, I was feeling a bit better and discharged from the hospital.  The oncologist said he would give me a week to relax and feel better before the next treatment.  I knew I would not be able to make it through another session.  I asked my oncologist whether the treatment sessions would continue to get worse, making me sicker and sicker.  He said it was possible.  I stopped treatment for fear the treatments were going to kill me before the cancer could.

My COBRA ran out at this time and so did the unemployment.  The options for financial or other help when you have cancer are so difficult to obtain.  Even being terminal is not necessarily a condition that is considered disabled.  If you have any type of income and your husband is not disabled, it is unlikely you will receive SSD or SSI.  Welfare in Nevada is exceedingly difficult to obtain as well.  It can take weeks to get an approval for a medical card and food stamps are so minimal they are not worth the long wait in line to see a case worker.

The social worked will also refer you to such things as commodities, food banks, and charitable services.  Commodities and food banks, again, require long waits in long lines.  When you are so ill, you just cannot do this.  I found it inconsiderate to suggest such things while I sat in wheelchair to weak to lift my head.  They also offered free rides to and from chemo sessions.  But their rides were offered to many and the bus stopped several times to pick up and drop off patients.  This made the already long trip (45 minutes one-way) turn into a two to three hour ride each way with very sick patients puking into chemo bags, making the rest of us feel even sicker.  I called on friends for transportation rather than puke my way to the appointment over a three hour ride.

Cancer is an ugly disease.  It’s a shame that the oncologist and cancer staff are not more honest and compassionate about the addition illness and indignities they cause us.  And it is shameful that those who are disabled or suffering from such problems cannot skip the lines or have a representative wait with their paperwork while the worker gets additional information from the applicant by phone.  It’s called “Dying with dignity.”  It’s a long shot for cancer patients.