GENEROSITY OF OTHERS

Sometimes I feel sweetly overwhelmed by the generosity of others.  Complete strangers showing me love and consideration.

ALLIE:  One local lady, Allie, has been wonderful.  We met via email.  We laughed when we shared our mutual interest in UFOs.  I introduced her via email to a friend of mine who does Alien artwork in Rachel, Nevada.  She emails me regularly just to perk me up or send sympathies.  She sent me a beautiful head scarf to wear this summer while wigs are too hot and contributed to my diaper fund.   She has a group of friends who get together for a fun meeting occasionally and invited me to attend.  I haven’t been yet but invite was delightfully sweet.  I hope I get a chance to go.

BELLE:  I was contacted by a friend whose nickname is Belle (like Disney’s Tinkerbelle).  She has had many health problems of her own.  It was so nice connecting with her again and reminiscing about the fun we’ve had together and gossiping a little about old friends.  She sent me a donation, too, even though I told her not to.  More diapers for the baby, thank goodness.  She is person who is a dedicated best friend no matter whom you are or where you are.  I hope the people around her appreciate that.  I’m a bit jealous of whoever gets to share that with her now.

EMAIL SUPPORTERS:  Other strangers have been wonderful, too.  There’s Natalia and Cathia, who sent donations that are keeping the baby in diapers.  And my few regular email pen pal supporters: Allie, Irene and Susana.  Others have written to me once or twice, but then lose interest if I’m too sick to write back regularly.  I also have several online supporters through Daily Strength. Thanks to those above for sticking it out with me.

THANKS:  I want all of you to know, that when I was at my lowest points, it’s you who have given me strength for another day.  I am beginning to believe that depression from knowing you have cancer and are leaving your family forever – well, that type of depression just cannot be cured.  But your connections to me have helped.  I still think about the burden I place on my family financially and think about suicide all the time, but I am also thinking about the baby’s birthday and Christmas, and I very much want to see those two occasions one more time.  Help me hang in there.

MY CURRENT STATUS:  My current status is a holding period.  No treatments at this time so I am feeling a bit better – thankfully.  I am out of bed more, and go out a little, even though I still get very tired whenever I am up and around.  At this time I am waiting for Steinberg Diagnostic to set the appointment for my next PET scan, and one of my past doctors to schedule me for another EUS.  That should happen around the end of this month.  The two tests will tell me how much of the tumor was burned away and whether more lymph nodes have become infected.  Then I will have another time limit guessed.  We are hoping for at least a year, but since I quit the chemo and still had four sessions left, it may have all been for nothing and I may only have a couple more months.  But considering the first diagnosis said 2-4 months, and I’m at six months now, the treatments did give me a little more time.  Pray that I get another six months without further chemo.  I so very much want to spend another Christmas with the baby.