DARK, DEEP DEPRESSION COMING

I am currently in the sickly stages of radiation poisoning.  I still have 18 daily treatments to go, in addition to four more week long treatments of chemo.  My radiation is daily and the chemo is ever 30 days for a period of one week.  The nausea from radiation sickness is quickly running me over and causing a deepening depression.  I spend 24 hours a day nauseated and sometimes vomitting.  I have another chemo session beginning May 31.  The chemo sessions make me vomit and have diarrhea for about two weeks.  I just cannot imagine piling chemo sickness on top of the radiation sickness I already have.  The doctors are doing the best they can to control the nausea but due to the location of the tumor right above my stomach opening, control it little to none.  I'm scared, depressed and becoming suicidal.  I just don't know how much more of the nausea, vomitting and diarrhea that I can handle.  I know I will be at an all time low by the end of the first week in June.  I'm going to need a lot of encouragement to just hang on to this nasty thread of life.  I hope someone can help.