The Kindness of Others (Frederica)

May 27, 2011

Dear Ms. Frederica of Illinois (and my other reading friends):

I haven’t written much lately.  I’ve been spending the majority of my days in bed sick and nauseated, making only a short daily trip out to my radiation therapy.  About once a week, I spend a full day in the cancer clinic getting hydration and stronger nausea medication to keep me going.  I have about 18 days of daily radiation treatments left.  I’m beginning to feel the effects of the radiation poisoning now, hence the nausea, and my hair is starting to fall out.  I’m told the nausea will be ongoing now until about three weeks after the radiation treatments have stopped.  I have the continuing nausea with little reprieve simply due to where the cancerous tumor is located which causes it to affect my stomach a lot.  At this time my most important duty is controlling the nausea and trying to eat.  They do not want me to lose too much weight.   So I don’t write much right now.

But I find it necessary, out of politeness and etiquette, to give an overwhelming thank you to Ms. Frederica of Illinois.  On one of my lowest days, I stopped for a second at the mail box because it had been three weeks and I was afraid they might close it or send things back.  Inside was a lone priority mail box.  I laid it on the seat beside me and continued on to radiation with my husband.  I cried most of the way to radiation, trying to convince myself to cancel the treatment – all between bouts of throwing up into a blue nausea travel bag the clinic gave me.  We arrived a few minutes early and my husband told me to take time to open the package.  Really – I was just too sick to care.  I figured it was some advertisement with a small useless product in it.  Imagine my genuine surprise and happiness to see a large floppy sunhat and some Avon lipstick, a pretty watch and some earrings with a matching necklace.

I cried again.  Someone was nice enough to try and let me be pretty for my treatments.  I have not dressed up in a long time.  I have not combed my hair.  I just shove it under a scarf.  I haven’t worn any make up.  I just stopped caring.  Then here comes this lovely package from Ms. Frederica which says “someone cares” and knows you probably need some pretty things.  These are the first new things I’ve had in a long time.  The hat was perfect.  They just told me it was time to cover my head and shoulders and stay out of the sun due to the chemotherapy, of which a second course begins May 31.  I took a few minutes, with my husband’s help, and put on the jewelry, the hat, and one of the lipsticks.  It may not seem like much, but it perked me up and I did look better in the visor mirror.

Thank you, Ms. Frederica.  As I walked into radiation, all the nurses noticed.  They said it was nice to see me not so depressed.  And they complimented the hat, necklace and said I looked so much better.  Those little things help so much even though they may seem like so little to others.  I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me something nice to make me feel good about myself again.  It's a bit of a coincidence, being you are from Illinois because so am I.  I moved to Nevada when I was very young, but I was born in Illinois and spent a few years there in my early 20s.  Your package brought back a bit of nostalgia.

To everyone else:  It may be a few weeks before I write again.  The next monthly chemo treatment begins May 31.  I’m usually really, really sick for about two weeks, and then begin to feel a bit better, but this time I’m told the nausea from the radiation treatment will still be there probably until the middle of July.  But I will continue to try to write and to certainly acknowledge the kindness of others shown toward me.

Elaine