Too Depressed, Too Tired - Need Diapers!

FOOD COMMODITIES SCAM:  I am so tired of deciding whether to buy more diapers, put a little gas in the car or buy fresh fruit and veggies.  We picked up food commodities Thursday.  I was so excited when I saw this huge tray of bread loaves.  They asked how many we wanted, and I asked how many can we have.  I took ten loaves feeling almost guilty about it as I planned stuffing and bread pudding in my head.  We have a van, and they load it in the back.  When we arrived home to unload it - the bread was all nasty moldy, squashed flat and repackaged in pieces, and very stale with some hard as a brick.  I was so disappointed.  Shame on them!  Why even hand out such things?  Plus we went to a lot of trouble to identify every one in the house to qualify for more boxes.  We were told we would get one box per person.  I didn’t know that so first month we received one box.  This month, our second month, I had paperwork for the baby and we spent twenty dollars to change my husband’s license to out new address.  We went through the line and we received one box again.  This time, on the side of the box, there was a number three with a circle around it.  It was the same size box as last month.  When we opened it at home, it actually had less in it than the single person box the month before.  I don’t get it.  But as they say, “Beggars can’t be choosers.”  At the very least, we should not have to endure being teased and having our time wasted due to misinformation – simply to get food for our household. It seems the government does not care whether they poison us or starve us.  But I’m desperate.  They got me.  I’ll be back.  Commodities can be picked up any Thursday between 9am-3pm.  That at least allows me several chances to hit one of my good days when I am actually able to pick it up.

FRESH PRODUCE OFFERS:  I’d absolutely love some artichokes, or squash, or other lively greens or fresh spinach.  One wonderful lady offered to line up a daily veggie pick up for me, free.  I really, really, really wanted it.  But the location was all the way across town.  My good and bad days are very twisted right now.  I cannot commit to anything daily.  If it could have been a day here and another day there, on my good days, I would have jumped at it.  But then I have to consider the gas it was going to take to drive that far.  More gas means fewer diapers.  I shouldn’t have to decide between good produce and fruits for my family and the pittance I need for the gas tank.  It’s just so unfair.

ENTERTAINMENT:  People do not seem to understand that most entertainment in any form, even so-called FREE entertainment has a cost.  It takes gas to travel to the destination, if it’s outdoors you need to carry water and snacks, if you are ill it eats up your energy, and most free events in my home area are dangerous to attend (especially if they are outdoors).  Free events seem to bring together gangs and bad elements in our area.  We cannot even walk peacefully down our street alone. A local street vendor was killed for his money, left to die in the street.  I am so sick of never going anywhere or having anything.  We cannot even afford a $1 movie theater because it takes gas, plus the $1 entry fee, plus we have to sneak in snacks and drinks for the baby.  That may add up to just $3-$5, but $5 is a huge decision for us - food, gas or diapers - not movies.  We use to spend a lot of time in the public library, using the computers, reading, attending little craft and puppet set ups for the kids.  But the library doesn’t really like children my baby’s age, and especially seems to dislike them if they are hyper-active.  The library, even though it’s free, is not really a place for us – or so we’ve been directed a time or two until it became an embarrassment to go anymore.  When I feel up to it, we go to Spring Preserves play park or Lied Children’s museum on the first Sunday of the month (with some old Bank of America debit cards from closed accounts).  They still work for the freebies and we use them until it stops.  Summers, we spend a lot of time at the Water Parks where the baby can play in the water outside for free.  When we have an extra $1 or so, we go to a public pool near our home, where it costs $2 for my husband and $1 for me and the baby is free.  If the heat is not too much, we let him play for hours.  But winter is coming.  That means outdoor parks in the cold wind, possibilities of gangs nearby.  

DIAPER COUPONS, UPCs, HELP!  We could sure use some diaper coupons and UPC codes for gas cards.  If someone would like to send us some, that would be spectacular and take a huge load off us.  We are working hard to potty train him.  We bought a used potty seat at the thrift store ($1) and several pair of cartoon underwear ($1 for all five pair).  It’s so hard to train him with being so sick and in so much pain.  It’s hard to be consistent and on top of him like we need to be.  Plus his attention deficit makes it more difficult.  We cannot force the issue too much, or he has a seizure.  We don’t need anymore hospital bills or sitting in the emergency rooms for 6-10 hours.

Sorry, but I’m very tired this week.  Maybe my end time is getting close.  I’ll write again soon.