New Appointment for Surgery Consult

I'm meeting with a local surgeon for a consult on Friday morning.  It's recommended that I not get the surgery in Nevada if the doctor may feel I am eligible, but at least I'll have some more useless information to add to the multitude I have already.  I also have an appointment Monday with a doctor about gamma-laser surgery which would be the burning away of the tumor with radiation involved.  Again, more useless surgery.  My oncologist recommends chemo-radiation without surgeries.  I get contradicting recommendations and cannot make a decision.  One says surgery only is the best shot for longer time and it would be without sickness but long recovery time.  Another recommends a long bout of chemo-rad with long term sickness but longer time.  Another recommends just the chemo-rad and being sick but longer time followed by surgery.  Do any of them really know what works or are they all just guessing at my expense?  I am so depressed all the time that I can barely function.  I need to run around and round up all these records and CDs and photos of the procedures and I'm just too tired.  I need to fill out tons of paperwork for each consult, and I'm just too tired.  Plus it's hard to care.  The doctors tell me this is all just palliative care which means comforting while you die.  So, really?  Who cares?  I really just want to die.